


Collar

by Igirisuhito



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Collars, Communication, Flashbacks, M/M, Post-Game(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Sexual Harassment, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igirisuhito/pseuds/Igirisuhito
Summary: Komaeda and Hinata decide to go through some of their old possessions. Hinata has a burning curiosity.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 4
Kudos: 198





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As a disclaimer, I do not have PTSD. The representation of illness in the fic may not be perfect, and for that I apologise. My aim is not to offend or ridicule, but explore the themes of recovery from trauma.
> 
> If you wish to avoid the sexual harassment and teruteru being a bitch, feel free to skip the second chapter. The fic is complete without it, but I didn't want the extra 1.5k words to go to waste lol.

"Oh! I… I didn't realise I even kept this."

Komaeda mused to himself as he reached into the cardboard box in front of him, struggling to pull out the object he was so intrigued by. He jiggled it slightly, shifting it out from beneath the things weighing it down, before finally yanking it out with a triumphant grin. 

They had been encouraged by Kirigiri to sort through some of their things as a form of 'spring cleaning.' Hanamura had experienced a panic attack upon finding a familiar electric knife which led to the remnants realising just how much stuff they still owned from their despair days. So Togami,  _ the good one _ , took charge and paired them up to go through their things together.

Hinata knew all he owned was his reserve course suit and the barrette he had taken from Nanami. They were what he had awoken with, after all, since he had brought nothing else to the island. So he was just here to help Komaeda sort out his things. 

Hinata returned the smile before gazing down, curious as to what had gotten Komaeda so intrigued. The other boy's fingers were now wrapped around a heavy steel collar. From the front, a long metal chain dangled, dragging across the wooden floor noisily as he brought it closer to examine. 

"That's from your time in Towa city, right?" Hinata watched him closely, anxious that Komaeda may be set off by the object. 

A small sound escaped him, an involuntary noise that was rather croaky and high pitched. It only further deepened Hinata's fears, the seconds feeling as though they had been dragging on forever since Komaeda last spoke. 

Cautiously reaching out, Hinata gently placed his hand on the small of the boy's back. "H-hey…it's alright…" 

It was an understandable reaction, one that didn't surprise Hinata in the slightest. Komaeda was still rather prone to despair spirals even after all these years of being isolated on Jabberwock. But that's why they were doing this, why Hinata was here; to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself when something brought back memories of the atrocities they'd committed and horrors they'd lived through. 

Komaeda made the noise again, and again. And before he knew it, he was giggling. It was a happy giggle, not like the ones that cracked through the depths of his soul and spewed from his mouth like toxins during a breakdown. The light-hearted and wholesome sound left Hinata finding himself confused, but pleased Komaeda seemed okay. 

"I'm sorry, it's just…I really let myself wear just whatever huh? Despair does  _ awful  _ things to people." A bright smile had stretched across Komaeda's face, one of genuine warmth. He wiped at the tears in his eyes, seemingly unaware that Hinata was currently skating right off the side of his emotional half-pipe.

_ You literally sawed off your own hand but you're more upset about how you wore a collar…?  _

Deciding to keep that thought private, Hinata asked something else instead. "So uh... was it more of an edgy thing or a kinky thing?" 

Komaeda's head snapped around to playfully glare at Hinata. "It wasn't kinky! Do you really think so lowly of me, Hinata-kun? Even in throes of despair I could never be so depraved as to force my sexual desires onto those around me, especially not the Warriors of Hope." He paused, a couple of breathless laughs escaping his lips. "I couldn't have done something like that, they would have bullied me for it in an instant. Children are merciless…"

"No no, you know I don't think of you like that, Komaeda." A small chuckle left Hinata as he thread his fingers through the front of his hair. "They were really awful kids, huh?"

"Victims of circumstance."

"I mean, they did kill thousands of people." 

"So did you!" 

"Yeah but I--!" Hinata sighed loudly in defeat as he realized the worthlessness of arguing about such a thing. "No...You're right." 

Seeming pleased with his victory, Komaeda smirked cheekily as he set the collar down on the floor beside him. With that over with, he returned to rummaging through the box. 

Hinata, however, didn't seem to be able to let it go. His eyes were still fixated on the shiny metal, poring over every detail and slight scratch. "Does it…hurt to wear?" 

"Hmmm," As Komaeda spoke he continued sorting through his items, not stopping to look up at the other. "Not really, but if you have children yanking at the chain all day it's likely to cut into your skin a little."

"I see…" Even as Hinata gave a gentle nod of acceptance, he didn't seem to be able to peel his eyes away. 

Something about that collar intrigued him, something he couldn't put into words. Perhaps it was purely just because of how  _ odd  _ the garment truly was. It weighed on his mind with a strange familiarity he couldn't place, one that he could only guess was due to his merge with Kamukura. A past memory? 

"Do you want to try it on?" 

The offer was enough to snap Hinata from his daze, heat rising in his cheeks as he shook his head wildly. "N-no…that's weird…"

Komaeda picked up the collar again, the metal making a soft  _ tink _ against his fibreglass fingers. He unclasped the collar, allowing it to bend into its two halves before holding it out towards Hinata's neck. "I'll help you put it on."

Swallowing hard, Hinata stared at the metal nervously. Looking at it made him feel strange. Fuzzy, almost as though a static was settling over his brain. Was he getting…close to remembering something? Or was he…  _ turned on _ by it? After all, a human on a collar and leash was unnatural, yet a popular fetish. And Komaeda was someone he was sexually attracted to...

He could sit and ponder the possibilities for hours, but it would be an unproductive use of time. Hinata expelled all the thoughts swirling around in his head, instead focusing on the situation right now. This strange feeling intrigued him, despite the fact it made him anxious as hell for no discernable reason. 

As per usual, Hinata's curiosity outweighed his anxiety. "O-okay…"

With a small smile, Komaeda shuffled a little closer. He pressed the cool metal to the front of Hinata's neck, watching as the chain pooled in his lap. He then closed the collar before doing up the clasp with a loud  _ click _ . 

Hinata seized, every muscle in his body suddenly tensing with an intense sensation of panic. The kind of panic that made you think  _ "This is it, I'm going to die." _

The world seemed to fall out from beneath him, quickly being replaced by a vibrant green room, filled with the noisy hum of electronic equipment running and observational monitors beeping. 

_ Strange men in white coats were looking down at him, faces going unrecognised. _

"N-no…"

_ This will be the final part of the procedure. Are you ready,  _ "Hinata-kun?"

"N-no!! Don't touch me!" 

_ He furiously attempted to swat away the arm reaching for him, but he couldn't. After all, they'd strapped down any part of his body that was capable of movement. His left cheek itched immensely from the electrode stuck to his skin.  _

"It's okay, Hinata-kun." _ The procedure will be mostly painless, it's likely you won't remember a thing. This the final stage, after this you will be released and reborn as the Ultimate Hope.  _

_ I'm barely hanging on as is. I-If you take away any more I'm going to die. I'm going to forget who I am…  _

_ I don't want to forget her!  _

_ Hinata desperately tried to grab at the restraint around his neck. He could feel his knuckles against his skin as his fingers gripped onto the metal, but he knew his arms had been restrained.  _

_ It didn't make sense. None of this is making sense. What is going on?  _

_ Somebody pulled his hands away, probably angry at his lack of cooperation. Fingers dug sharply into his chin and lips, forcing his mouth open as they pressed hard against his teeth.  _

_ Why were they doing this? This wasn't part of the plan.  _

_ He let out a loud noise of discomfort, struggling to shake himself free of whatever held him. But before Hinata could push free of their grip, something hard was forced into his mouth.  _

_ Huh?  _

_ His mouth was suddenly so...cold. Ice cold. Stinging and burning into his tongue. He thrashed and whined, attempting to remove the object from his mouth, but instead his jaw was forced shut.  _

"Hinata-kun!!" 

_ Who is that? The voice sounded too young to be one of the surgeons. _

"It's not real! Whatever's going on right now is just an illusion!" 

_ He could almost laugh. He must be in denial, hoping that this nightmare wasn't turning out exactly the way it was meant to. After all, it was him who wanted this _

_ so _

_ so _

_ badly. _

"The Kamukura project ended a long time ago! You're safe now, Hinata-kun!" 

_ The… Kamukura project? _

_ Ah, that's right. I've already become Kamukura Izuru. I've been Kamukura Izuru. There's no reason for this to be happening.  _

_ Then that means…  _

_ This isn't reality. _

_ Click.  _ The soft sound of the collar's clasp being undone was what finally pulled Hinata back. 

He could feel the ice melting against his tongue. The restraint had been removed from around his neck, yet the sensation of pressure and cool touch of the metal still lingered. 

He should… try to open his eyes. 

Cracking one open, Hinata found himself surprised by the flood of bright warm sunlight. The sharp contrast between that and the harsh neon green of the neuroscience institute surprised him. 

It was almost as if the warmth of the world was welcoming him with open arms. 

He could hear seagulls, the rhythmic thud of the washing machine, the sound of metal chain clattering against the wood floor and heavy breathing. 

Ah, that was his own breathing. 

A mess of fluffy, white hair was above him, knelt down and leaning over him with a look of panic on his face. It was a familiar scene, one that reminded him of the time when he woke up on the beach within the simulation. 

"Komae-dah…" 

The boy moved the instant he heard his own name, practically throwing himself at Hinata in a tight hug and pulling him upright off the floor. As Komaeda pressed his chest as close to Hinata's as possible, he whispered apologies quickly and harshly, fast enough to barely sound like coherent words. 

"I'msosorryI'msosorryI'msosorry!!" 

Despite his best efforts to speak, Hinata's voice was barely above a whisper. "I-it's alright…not your fault…" 

He was still shaking and his hands were grossly clammy from all the sweat. He wiped them on the back of Komaeda's shirt and hugged the boy in return.

"I-I should have known…" Komaeda mumbled, squeezing tighter. 

Hinata wasn't sure of what to say to reassure him, he really didn't want Komaeda to fall into one of his deprecation spirals, not right now. His head was pounding and he could still feel the electrodes attached to various places on his head and chest. 

"Ko-maeda...I think I'm still…"

Komaeda leapt out of his arms, shuffling back a little before grabbing Hinata's right hand. "Ah sorry, I was…scared. But please don't worry about me right now Hinata-kun. Focus on getting yourself back down."

After nodding in response, Hinata took a deep breath and glanced around the room. He idly scratched at his left cheek as he took note of the objects around him. 

Bed. Bookshelf. Messy stack of books. More fucking books. There's a gas mask under the-  _ breathe _ . There is no gas mask under the bed. It doesn't matter. There's a coffee table. A desk that we added more recently. 

Hinata swiveled around on his butt

The obnoxiously see-through bathroom. The toilet, bath, shower, towels.  _ I think…I think I'm okay. _

He let out a long sigh, relaxing his body enough to let himself fall back and lay down on the floor. Letting go of his hand, Komaeda continued to watch him cautiously. "Are you okay, Hinata-kun?" 

He nodded. Still feeling a little uncomfortable with using his words, he opted to idly suck at the ice cube, reveling in the cool water dribbling down his throat. 

Komaeda simply laid down next to him, wearing a gentle smile on that pale face. "We can stay here as long as you like, this was my last box of stuff anyway. If you wanna talk about it, you can. If you don't, that's fine too."

"I…" Despite the ice cube in his mouth, Hinata's throat felt unbearably dry and tight. "You were right. In your assumption…" 

"Ah, so it was about the Kamukura project then." A soft sigh escaped Komaeda, one of dismay rather than frustration. "I couldn't think of anything else that would cause that kind of reaction. And I don't believe Kamukura did much during his time as a remnant."

Nodding again, Hinata found himself bringing his fingers to his neck. The skin was irritated, sore. He could still feel the collar sitting heavy on his Adam's apple, slowly crushing his esophagus… 

"Hinata-kun."

Right. He took a deep gulp of air, having not realised until that moment he'd even been holding his breath. He was so grateful for Komaeda's attentiveness to detail that seemed to continue to save him time and time again. 

"Do you like the weather here on Jabberwock Island?" The question came completely unprompted, out of the blue. 

Hinata recognised this from one of their therapy sessions with Naegi, where he helped them learn methods on how to cope with these kinds of incidents. A subtle reminder of where the person was wrapped in a question designed to distract oneself. It seemed Komaeda had finally bitten back his curiosity in order to prioritise Hinata's fragile mental state. 

"It's a lot like Japan's weather during the summer. Humid. I've never liked humid weather, it makes me sweat too much." He decided it best to answer the question, actually giving it a solid amount of thought. "Though it can be really nice when it rains and there's a humid heat, the atmosphere feels so strange." 

Komaeda found himself smiling a little as he analysed Hinata's reaction. "Ah, I can understand that. The tropical thunderstorms we get here are quite interesting."

"It'd be nicer if they didn't trigger Saionji's panic attacks." Finding his mood suddenly souring again, Hinata muttered to himself.

"Trauma has unusual effects on people." Komaeda let out another one of those dry laughs, the kind he did when remembering something less than pleasant. "You and I both know this well."

There was a moment of silence in the room as Hinata blinked a few times, attempting to fully process the words as they were spoken. 

"Yeah… I uh, I shouldn't have said that. It's not her fault, after all."

"You're allowed to have these kinds of feelings, you know? You're allowed to be angry that these things happened to us." Speaking in a tone of full yet agonisingly painful sincerity, Komaeda gently placed his right hand over the stump on his arm. "You're only human. You've always been human. It's better for you to express these emotions, especially after what just happened."

"I know… I just…" Gesturing vaguely, Hinata trailed off for a moment, unable to find the right words to describe his thoughts. "I just feel  _ bad  _ about everything that's happened. I'm kind of responsible for all of this. There's so many things that I wish I could change, wish I could have… done differently, I guess."

The other boy paused for a moment before speaking again, an expression unreadable to even Hinata painted onto his delicate features. "Hinata-kun…may I touch you?"

Hinata nodded in consent, and Komaeda wiggled himself closer. He wrapped an arm around Hinata's waist, humming softly as he snuggled up against the other. 

"In all honesty, I just wish… I wish I didn't stop you at Hope's Peak. I should have let you shoot her. We wouldn't be in this stupid fucking mess if I just  _ let you _ ." Hinata's rage surged suddenly and he dug his fingers tightly into the fabric of Komaeda’s loose green jacket. 

The anger within him eased as he clung to the other. Taking a moment before he groaned and buried his face in the other's chest, reciprocating the hug Komaeda had graciously offered him.

Once Hinata had noticeably cooled down, Komaeda spoke up again. "I don't think I was ever capable of killing her, even if you hadn't stopped me. My luck never planned for me to have an easy ride."

"Still, if I hadn't helped her at all-" 

"Nothing would be different." The sudden stern tone made Hinata flinch. "You played less of a role in the whole thing than you care to admit, Hinata-kun."

Ah, he wasn't wrong.

All he had been used for was to manipulate the Reserve Course and put pressure on the faculty. She had other means of doing it and his denial to get involved would have just brought Enoshima more despair.

Hinata sighed loudly, moving his face up to Komaeda's neck and nestling his face into his untamed ivory hair. 

"You're right…I'm sorry." 

"It's fine, we all feel that way sometimes." Komaeda whispered, looping his other arm around Hinata. 

As compelled as Hinata felt to object, he decided to accept it. Enoshima would have found other pawns to play her sick game with. They were lucky enough to just be alive.

They laid there in comfortable silence for a short while, basking in the warm rays of sunshine streaming through the window. All that could be heard was the sound of one another breathing and the ocean waves rolling into shore. 

Fingers were threaded into the back of Hinata's hair, stroking through the strands soothingly as he succumbed to Komaeda's familiar touch and allowed himself to calm down. The gentle hold put him more at ease, pulled him back into reality, back into a world where everything was okay. Where there were no doctors here to hurt him, no anti-social scientists ready to break into his head, no creepy girls giggling as they tried to bludgeon him with a baseball bat. 

It seemed as though Hinata's breathing had begun to slow down, his grip loosening as he was no longer desperately attempting to ground himself against Komaeda. It seemed he had calmed down enough to maybe talk about it, so Komaeda decided to pop the question. 

"So, it was the collar that triggered it? Or a coincidentally timed flashback?"

"The collar. They used something similar to strap me down when they imbued me with my talents." As Hinata began to speak, his voice took on a dull and logical tone. "I believe any kind of restraint would likely elicit a similar reaction."

It wasn't unusual for Hinata to speak differently when recalling the operation or any of the events during the Hope Cultivation Project. It was as if he were trying to distance himself from the memories, to put up an emotionless front in order to make it hurt less. But at the end of the day it was more likely that he just saw things from an impersonal perspective. 

Kamukura was always like that.

He never truly believed himself to be a part of society, a person of talent, a human. He was simply an outcast. Everything that he did or that had happened to him were just things that took place, nothing more, nothing less. Whoever's hands it were that dealt these actions meant little to him. The fact Hinata still tended to do this was likely just another side effect of the merge. Komaeda was just grateful that the tone of Kamukura's voice didn't frighten him anymore. 

Before Komaeda's thoughts could spiral too much further into the contemplation of Hinata's actions, he spoke again.

"I'll keep that in mind. We'll make sure to add it to your profile's information, okay? That way this shouldn't happen again." 

"Flashbacks are an inevitable part of having PTSD." Hinata mumbled the words into Komaeda's neck, seeming deflated.

"I know, but figuring out what triggers them helps." He ruffled Hinata's hair in an attempt to comfort him. "Once everyone knew not to use a hand saw around me, my stress went down immensely! I'm still so grateful everyone would do something like that just to ensure the comfort of somebody as worthless as me!" 

There was another grumble from Hinata, who seemed unamused by Komaeda's comments. "You're not supposed to say stuff like that about yourself anymore…"

"And thus proves therapy isn't a perfect science either. At least it improves things bit by bit with time, like your triggers will." Knowing Hinata wouldn't be able to object to the argument, Komaeda found himself smirking a little. 

He was right. 

Hinata sighed loudly and snuggled closer into Komaeda's arms, groaning softly all the while. 

"I know you think it's your job to protect all of us, Hinata, but having these issues doesn't make you weak. You're an Ultimate!" Upon seeing the other wince, Komaeda chuckled softly before directing his reassurance down a different path. "You do so much for our class, and we all love you dearly. Everyone wants to help you the best they can, Hinata-kun."

"Hm… do you think they would want to help me out with how cold my mouth is now?" Hinata squeezed the other boy tightly, keeping him firm in his grip. 

"I can think of at least one who might-- Ah! Hinata-kun!!" 

A cold tongue laved across the skin of Komaeda's neck, causing him to yelp and squirm. He attempted to push Hinata away, but was unsuccessful when the other boy suddenly rolled on top of him, straddling and pinning him in place. Leaning in close, Hinata eyed Komaeda's lips. 

"May I?" 

There was a soft huff of defeat from the boy beneath him, followed by a breathless laugh and that ever familiar smile. 

"Of course."

Hinata pressed a light kiss to Komaeda's lips, causing the other boy to grin even wider as his cheeks flushed pink. "I love you."

"I love you too." 

There was a moment of peace, perhaps the first true peace the two had felt all morning. Hinata felt hyper-aware of everything in the silence; the now lack of gentle thudding and swishing from the washing machine, which must have finished without them noticing. Dust particles danced in the golden rays of sunlight that always seemed to cut through any curtains they hung up. The gentle grey of Komaeda's eyes as they glistened slightly with tears after being the victim of a tickle assault, the slight red flush of his cheeks, the way his messy hair looked so nice with his bangs pinned back in order to keep the hair from his face and show off more of his forehead. 

A warm sensation bubbled in Hinata's chest as he leaned his weight further onto Komaeda, allowing himself to relax with a soft sigh as he nuzzled further into the other boy. It felt as though he could fall asleep right there, completely calm in this perfect little world of theirs. Of course it couldn't last forever, but even so, it felt as though things were gonna be okay. 

As long as Hinata and Komaeda were together, things would turn out okay. 

It was no surprise that Komaeda was thinking the same thing, staring into those gorgeous mismatched eyes of his. There were scars on Hinata's face, scars that would continue to serve as painful reminders to both him and everyone around him. But Komaeda loved those scars, he loved every part of Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru. No matter how many times they disagreed, fought, or got hurt, they always found solace in one another. 

Komaeda had to pause to piece his train of thought back together. "Now, how about you get off me and let's pack everything back away, okay?"

With a gentle nod, Hinata shifted off the other's torso. Despite his mixed feelings on the loss of comforting heat and weight from Hinata's body, Komaeda sat himself up before rising to his feet and extending his hand towards the other. Hinata took another moment to recollect himself, before taking his hand and carefully rising to his feet. 

Together they packed away all those memories, memories that would haunt them for a lifetime. 

_ Your Handbook has been updated! _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party

The class had regrouped in the dining hall post cleaning in order to organise their unwanted goods to be put to other use or destroyed. Hinata and Komaeda both received some funny looks upon walking in empty handed.

"What, did you guys not even bother or something?" Saionji jeered, hiding her devilish grin behind her hand, her other arm remaining tightly wrapped around Koizumi's shoulder. 

"We did, Hinata-kun doesn't really have any items to sort through and most of my personal belongings were destroyed long ago!" Komaeda smiled cheerily despite the depressing implications of his words. 

That seemed to shut Saionji up, as she grumbled softly before turning back to the box of stuff in Koizumi's hands. It seemed to be comprised mostly of faded Polaroids and some old brightly coloured kimonos the Traditional Dancer had long outgrown. 

"Hey, Nagito-chan! Ibuki has some cool makeup you might wanna take a look at!" Mioda cheered, waving the other boy over to a large box she had set up on a table. 

Nodding, Komaeda continued to hold that peaceful smile of his. "Sure, I'd love to."

Hinata watched closely as he sauntered over to Mioda, a slight spring in his step. It made his heart flutter to see Komaeda finally fitting in with his classmates, not that Hinata really knew whether he fit in before the Tragedy. Though, knowing Komaeda, it was pretty fair to assume there was some clash between his strange beliefs and normal human interaction. 

"Are you doing okay, Hinata-san?"

A sweet voice broke Hinata from his trance, causing him to snap his head in the Princess' direction. "Y-yeah, I'm doing okay. I had a little bit of an… episode? I guess, whilst we were cleaning up. It's no big deal though, really. I'm fine now."

Her eyebrows knitting together in concern, Sonia stared right back at Hinata with that passionate gaze of hers. "If you insist so, then I understand. Please know that we are always here to support you, Hinata-san. Your own issues shouldn't be brushed off just because you think it's for the better."

"I promise, it's not just that, I really am just… okay." Smiling warmly, Hinata reached out a hand to the other, allowing her to take his hand in hers. "I'm really grateful that you're looking out for me, for all of us. Thank you, Sonia." 

"Of course, Hinata-san. Your health is above all in importance." Returning the smile, Sonia rubbed her thumb gently over the creases of Hinata's hand. It was a soothing gesture, one far too intimate for a princess to be performing. 

But Sonia isn't really a princess anymore. Too much time with commoners has turned her soft. The thought made something happy sparkle in Hinata's chest, and he couldn't help the giggle that came out. 

She seemed to understand, and gave his hand one last little squeeze before letting go. With a slight bow and a flourish of her skirt, Sonia went on her way, working around the room to check up on everyone, just like the caring Queen she had always been destined to become. 

As Hinata had been following Sonia around the room with his eyes, he hadn't quite noticed when Hanamura had suddenly come right up to his side, smirking mischievously with a hand on his chin. Well, it was more than Hinata had elected to ignore him in hopes he wouldn't make some obnoxious comment about how nice it was to " _ Watch Sonia go _ ." 

"Y'know, Hinata-kun… I never took you for the kind of person to dabble in such kinky endeavours. You'll have to invite me to join you one day, I'm sure I can introduce you to all sorts of  _ new things  _ to use instead _. _ "

The seductive tone sent an invasive shiver down Hinata's spine. He looked down towards the Chef, an incredulous expression of confusion and mild disgust plain on his face. "What ' _ kinky endeavours?'"  _

"Oh the handbook reveals all! You thought you could hide it from the rest of us?" Patting his pocket, Hanamura chuckled knowingly, as if he held some secret Hinata wasn't in on. 

_ The handbook?  _

Hinata pulled his own handbook from his pocket, flicking through to the personal profiles. He opened up his own, curious to understand what exactly the boy was talking about.

**Hinata Hajime**

Likes: Kusamochi

Dislikes: Sakuramochi

Triggers: Collars, restraints

Hinata read the new additions once. Twice. Thri-

"Oh!  _ Oh."  _ The warm burn of embarrassment enveloped his body from head to toe. "W-we weren't…I just…I tried it on…" 

It was such a human emotion, shame. No matter how complex and advanced his brain had become in recent years, it was still brought to a grinding halt when he attempted to defend himself. Hinata slowly sank to his knees, burying his face in the handbook in hopes of hiding his burning embarrassment. 

"There's no shame in trying new things in the bedroom, Hinata-kun." Hanamura patted his back soothingly, whispering away in that sickly sensual tone. "In fact, I would love to assist you on a journey of self-discovery sometime."

Shaking his head rapidly, Hinata whined, still unable to formulate the right words to defend himself. He felt more and more uncomfortable with every passing second, especially with the idea of  _ Hanamura _ being sexual with him being planted in his head. 

"Hanamura-kun, please leave Hinata-kun alone. He should be able to discover his triggers without being mocked for them."

Hinata perked up a little at the sound of Komaeda's voice. He wondered if the other had noticed what was happening across the room, picked up on his discomfort and wandered over to not-so-politely pull Hanamura away from Hinata's hunched over form. 

"I put my Servant's collar on him, and we learnt that the Hope Cultivation Project involved the use of such restraints." The matter-of-factly tone Komaeda used reminded Hinata of that slightly mocking tone that he'd used during class trials, the kind of voice that made you feel as if you were being spoken down on. "There was nothing sexual about it, and there certainly isn't anything erotic about being traumatised."

"I-I wasn't trying to imply that it-" Stammering out the words, Hanamura tried to defend himself, but was quickly cut off by Komaeda with another request to leave Hinata be. The chef sulked away, leaving to talk with somebody who was more in the mood to entertain his nonsense. 

Fingers combed into Hinata's hair, ruffling it a little to encourage the boy to look up. Komaeda smiled, before pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

"It's okay, Hinata-kun." Whispering softly, Komaeda continued the little motions of combing his fingers through the other's hair. "Hanamura-kun's not trying to mock you, he's just looking for an excuse to sexually harass someone." 

"But you-- did you accuse him of mocking me just because you were trying to get rid of him?" His voice shaking a little, Hinata leaned into Komaeda's touch. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry, you looked really stressed out. You tend to freeze up and panic when accused of things you didn't do. Well, I guess most people do, actually." Komaeda laughed softly, Hinata wasn't sure if it was meant to be out of awkwardness or an attempt to comfort him. "I can explain the handbook to the others, if you would like?" 

Hinata shook his head. "Thanks, but it'd be best if I did it. But uh… maybe not today." His hand instinctively wandered to his neck, fingers ghosting over the skin. 

Stretching out a hand, Komaeda silently offered to help Hinata to his feet. The other boy accepted, yelping softly when he found himself pulled into another tight hug. "K-Komaeda…it's okay…"

"I know, I just… worry. I've never seen you like that before… You always seem to be so strong and above all of this so it was rather frightening. I panicked and could have made things so much worse." Burying his face in Hinata's shoulder, Komaeda whispered out his confession in a soft voice. "You could have gotten hurt."

Rubbing his back in slow motions, Hinata reflected for a moment. "No, you did almost everything right. If you hadn't called out to me I don't think I would have realised what was happening. You really grounded me, thank you, Nagito."

Komaeda just squeezed Hinata tighter, not out of insecurity but out of gratitude. "I think… we should talk to Naegi about this. I can't help but feel rather nervous that I may not cope with this happening again. To see  _ you  _ of all people still being pulled at by despair."

"Yeah…" With a soft nod, Hinata swallowed back the feeling of his heart beating out of his chest. 

Hearing Komaeda bring up something like 'despair' again was strange, especially after all the work they had been doing in hopes of moving him on from that kind of mindset. That bad feelings and happenings were just things and not some darker and deeper evil. Hinata understood recovery wasn't linear, but it was incredibly jarring. And if he wasn't coping, perhaps it was time to do something about that. 

Shit, even  _ he _ was nervous. If there were going to be repeats of his attack, how could he hold up as a pillar of the island? How could he reassure everybody that things were fine when he himself wasn't? Was there a chance he could revert into Kamukura if this happened again? What if he  _ hurt somebody?  _

He dug his fingers tightly into the back of Komaeda's hoodie. He was right, there were so many possibilities of things going wrong. 

"Let's do that."


End file.
